I’m probably going to ruffle some feathers with this post but something has to be said on this topic on behalf of every past, current and future host of any event particularly brides and I’m OK being the one to say it. Hosting an event is fun but the planning process leading up to it is almost always stressful due to a variety of reasons but the one thing that seems to always be a major annoyance for the host is the guest list. Believe me, last year alone, I attended 7 weddings and also hosted a gala for my 30th birthday so I’ve heard the stories and experienced some of the chaos firsthand.
As my title suggests, just because you know the host does not automatically mean that you’re entitled to an invitation to their event. It’s not necessarily anything personal against you (or maybe it is) but here are a few reasons you didn’t get invited to that one event. Here’s why:
The venue has a maximum capacity
Every venue has a maximum capacity. For instance, I wanted to have about 75-100 guests for my gala last year. The venue had a maximum capacity of 100. Even if I changed my mind throughout the planning process and decided to invite 150 guests, the venue simply would not be able to accommodate the surplus. For this reason alone, you should understand that everyone can’t invite you to everything. But if this isn’t enough of an explanation, my next points can help clarify.
The host has a limited budget, therefore a limited guest list
Because most venues charge a fee per guest, it’s common sense that more guests equal more expenses for the host. They will need more invitations, more party favors, more food, more drinks, more chairs and chair covers, more tables and tablecloths. They may even need to add an additional photographer and all of these add-ons come at a high price tag. When you are invited to an event, you expect to enjoy the experience. If the host cannot afford to make the experience pleasant for everyone on their list, they must modify the guest list. If you don’t make the cut, the host may have simply forgotten but perhaps, they simply could not afford the additional expenses. Let’s be real, even the Royals had a maximum number of guests at their wedding and I’m sure there are plenty of people who felt they deserved an invite and didn’t get one. If they couldn’t please everyone with their seemingly unlimited budget, us regular folks most likely won’t be able to either! Besides, can one really fault another for not being able to afford something?
We may be acquaintances and not friends
My last point may come off a bit harsh, but maybe we’re just not that cool…
If you’re one of my relatives’ friends, it can be nice of me or them to choose to invite you to our family event but if you don’t make the cut, please don’t come to my house asking where was your invite. Believe me, this happened to me in real life more than once. You cannot make this stuff up and it is absolutely despicable and uncomfortable for the host to say the least. The same goes if you’re my friend… You cannot demand an invite to my relative’s events. I more than likely have no say on who is or isn’t on the guest list.
Intimate events are just that: intimate. If you are just an acquaintance or we say hello to each other in passing at church or at the office, I wouldn’t expect to be invited to your event and neither should you expect (or even less so demand) an invite to mine. Furthermore, just because you invited me to your event does not mean I must invite you to mine. Ideally, that would be nice to reciprocate but if I can’t afford to have you, this shouldn’t be held against me. Another thing, if you’re not married, I don’t believe the host has to invite your current significant other to their private event just because you don’t want to be dateless. If they choose to do so, that’s probably because they can afford to and that’s great. Otherwise, either decline the invite or mingle with the guests that are invited because your boo is only close to you, not the host.
In conclusion, if someone I viewed as a close friend didn’t invite me to their event, even if I felt offended, I would NEVER go to them to demand an explanation as to why I wasn’t invited. Maybe that’s just me but I have way too much pride for that. If they forgot to invite you, that means they already feel bad for forgetting. A confrontation would just put the person in an uncomfortable place – having to defend themselves. If they didn’t want you there, then you are embarrassing yourself by asking that question and that’s just unnecessarily uncomfortable.
I have been wanting to share my thoughts on this topic for the longest because I wanted to get a conversation started about this with you guys. So please whether you agree or disagree with me on any of the points above, please share your thoughts in the comment section below. Also, if there is any topic (politics excluded) that you would like me to discuss on the blog, be sure to let me know. I’m reachable everywhere on the internet @versicloset and via email at versicolorcloset@gmail.com.
Until next time,
