Should single women become homeowners before getting married?

This is a different kind of post for my blog but I’m very interested in having this conversation with my tribe, i.e. you guys!

I was recently watching this video by Anthony O’Neal where he was discussing whether or not it’s a good idea for someone to buy a home during the pandemic. He shared valuable tips on why one should or shouldn’t buy right now and I found it quite enlightening. But towards the end of the video, he shared his opinion on whether or not single women should buy a home. He thinks that single women in their 20s who are in serious relationships should NOT buy a home by themselves. Single women in their 30’s however, should buy a home.

Some viewers voiced their opinion in the comments and stated that if anyone is in the financial position to purchase a home, that they should do so regardless of age or gender. Their perspective was that a home is an asset that can build generational wealth and being a single woman shouldn’t stop you from reaching that milestone. Valid point!

I personally never wanted a home in my 20’s. Here’s why: I’ve always liked the idea of being debt free so being responsible for a 6 figure mortgage always seemed terrifying to me. Now that I am nearing my mid-thirties and I am single, I have been considering the idea more and more but I realized that I have very lavish taste when it comes to homes. There’s nothing wrong with that except that I live in NY and the type of house that I like is in the $700K – $1.2mil range. Insane, I know. When I see the available options outside of NY, I start considering the possibility of moving but I also dislike the idea of being away from my family which makes the decision so hard.

But I digress! Back to the topic at hand. Knowing what I know now, would I have bought a home in my 20s? Absolutely not. I say this because now more than ever, I am aware of the fact that many people purchase homes because they can afford the monthly mortgage payment but one good look at their finances shows that they are really house poor and can’t afford much else. I didn’t want that to be my story back then and I certainly don’t want it to be my story now.

On the flip side, not every 20 something year old is in the same financial position. For instance, I have seen many millennial entrepreneurs and influencers who make a lot more money than their peers, buying homes in their 20’s. One can assume that their financial situation allowed them the freedom to make that decision earlier on. In that instance, I don’t think the fact that they are single should stop them from making that investment. Besides, in most cases, they”re able to sell the home when they get married or they may decide to live in it with their spouse or better yet use it as an investment property / Air BnB.

Being a homeowner is a big decision that comes with a lot of expenses so going that route should be well thought out and planned. The bottom line in my humble opinion is that no one should be confined to any box made up by someone else on how they should live their lives. Society has made up so many rules that women specifically are forced to abide by and that has to stop. Whether you buy or not should be based upon a thorough evaluation of your finances and your position in life. With the appropriate data on hand (and the guidance of the Holy Spirit for those of us who are Christians) you can make an informed decision that will continue to be a blessing in the long term. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this so be sure to chime in below.

I snagged those pants from Signed Blake‘s Amazon The Drop collection because not only did I want to support a fellow Black influencer, but I wanted to try out the high waist paper bag pants. I don’t own any others but I am now a believer. They fit quite well and have a lot of stretch at the waist. The fabric is really luxurious which would make this a good holiday option if I decide to get real fancy. For now, I kept the look basic with my brown shoulder pad t-shirt from Mango. The mules are from Boohoo and the sunglasses and bag are both from SheIn. All the links are included below for your convenience.