Reflecting on the woman I became over 10 years of blogging…

8/13/22 – 9:20am

I’m currently on a catamaran in Puerto Rico heading to Culebra. It’s 9am on a Saturday, the water’s a little turbulent but the weather is excellent. One of the guides is standing at the edge of the boat as it’s rocking up and down; I tell him, “you better be careful cause I can’t save you!” 🤣 I’m not lying. Although I’m on my way to snorkel, swimming is not my strong suit. He reassures me that he likes standing there to ensure there are no dark clouds making their way over, in case they need to reroute. Cool. I’m glad one of us is an expert here. Six of us are on the upper part of the boat and the 22 others are downstairs. I know this because they did a head count and we had to yell out our numbers. I am #9. There are 52 life jackets on board so that’s reassuring.

I don’t know why I waited so long to go on a solo trip. It’s literally what my soul needed. I feel so relaxed. Like there’s no expectation from anyone. Whatever I do, is what I want to do. Sounds a little selfish but on the contrary, I’m usually the one who goes with the flow when on vacation. Whatever the girls wanna do, wherever they wanna go, I’m down. This time, I couldn’t rely on anyone’s input. I was thinking for myself, all by myself. I booked all my excursions without asking anyone for their inputs or budgets. It was all about me.

The coolest part of all this is realizing how much I’ve grown. I’m less afraid of things now and I care a lot less about folks’ opinions. How freeing! Yesterday, I went water sliding near El Yunque rainforest and the first time down the rocks, I slipped and tumbled down and almost hit my head on the rocks. My sunglasses went missing and I had no clue how this incident would unravel. I think my elbows hit the rocks but otherwise I was fine. Old Edwina would never get on this water slide again. But new me? Chile, I got right back on and the next time went higher and higher. It was invigorating. I learned that you have to sit up and use your hands to guide yourself. I must’ve leaned too far back the first time around and lost control completely. Close call. Thank goodness for the gentleman with the goggles who went down and found my glasses in the river.

So many people on social media are telling me how brave I am because I have the courage to travel alone. I find that concept very interesting. Why is it courageous to spend time with yourself? Why do we automatically think of the worst when it comes to being alone on a trip? Many of us are alone on our way to work every day or every time we take an Uber. Is it that being in a foreign place makes us feel less in control? I suppose that must be it… For me, this trip has felt liberating. It’s a bucket list item I’ve always wanted to cross. Well maybe not always but at least for the past 5 years. In my 20’s, I probably wouldn’t have done it. But I’m glad I see things differently now.

Everything is a risk. And a life with no risk leads to no reward. I took a risk when I went zip lining yesterday. 2600 feet in the air with nothing but a string and faith holding me up. I called an Uber from the zip lining place and Malcolm, the driver was a really nice gentleman who explained that he was a tour guide. I had no plans for the rest of the day and I wanted to do the tour he was suggesting. Risk taken again but with discernment. That’s another lesson I’m learning in my 30’s. I can trust my instinct. I felt peace when Malcom went offline as a Uber driver to take me around for the day. He took me to the shopping center at Luquillo beach to get a bathing suit. Then we had lunch as he sat across from me like an old friend. From there we drove to the rainforest where I had that water sliding incident. After that we returned to Luquillo beach for a good swim and then, as fate would have it, he lived 5 minutes away from my Airbnb so he took me home. Since I had an excursion planned today, I asked him if he would pick me up. He agreed to be there at 6:45am. At 6:38am, he was downstairs. I was the first one to arrive at the pier. It was nice to hear about Malcolm’s life and his family. But to be on the safe side, I sent his name and picture to my friends and also have my location shared with everyone in my close circle. My backup charger kept my phone charged. So my risk went along with precaution & discernment.

No one can guarantee that nothing bad will happen to you if you travel solo. But neither can anyone guarantee that nothing bad will happen to you if you stay home. A fulfilled life exists where fear ends. As for me and my house, we shall be living fully, being outside, doing all the things. A colorful life is the goal in every aspect of the word. Versicolor is a lifestyle. So come along and push past those limitations that are holding you back from experiencing all the thrilling things the world has to offer. Try the snails in Paris. Eat the camel meat in Morocco and then ride a camel the next day 🤷🏽‍♀️ Go zip lining and tumble down the water slides a couple time! You’ll have stories to tell for days! You can see my travel stories in action, you can check out my travel playlist on YouTube.

Well, time to go enjoy the view before reaching Culebra to snorkel with my life vest on. If you’re reading this, #9 survived. You will too!

3:22pm update!

I wanted to jump from the boat into the water. Reminder: I can’t swim well 😫 So, the guide said we can either jump in together and he’ll hold my hand or I can jump in alone. I thought to myself: “If you’re gonna do it, do it right.” I hesitated for a while but then I jumped in alone after the guide. It was exhilarating! Another scared tourist jumped in after me with everyone else cheering. Conquering your fears definitely has a domino effect. I’m so proud of myself!