Essence Challenge – Bestie Edition

In this post, I shared my top ten favorite covers that I saw on Instagram when the #EssenceChallenge was a thing this summer. My best friend Martha and I then decided to collaborate and join this challenge (better late than never). But there’s a twist: we aren’t just sharing our version of the magazine cover for Instagram… We went ahead and co-wrote an article to go with it as we share a bit more about our decade long friendship. It is all things black girl magic mixed by way of a friendship divinely orchestrated by God.

My answers are marked E and Martha’s are marked M. We hope you enjoy this post! This dress is sold out in yellow and although the black one is almost sold out, you can find it in a couple sizes here. I am wearing the US size 4 in tall and Martha is wearing the regular size 4.

1. How long have you friends?

E: Martha and I met towards the end of my first semester as a transfer student at Baruch College in NYC. This was in 2007. Had I known this would be a lifelong friendship, I would’ve memorized the exact date she approached me during our econometrics class. I absolutely hated that class, so I suppose she saw how miserable I was and came to say hi. The moral of the story is that in every bad situation, there’s a silver lining and she was mine! Our friendship has truly been a gift that keeps on giving so we thank God for that awful econometrics class! 

M: I want to say about 12 years now. Whatever Edwina says will be more accurate because she remembers random numbers for no reason.

2. How did the nicknames Gorgeous and Gorgette come about? 

E: I seriously can’t believe these nicknames stuck around this long. While in college, we both wore heels to school every day. I couldn’t believe there was someone else on the planet who thought that was normal. Anyway, we would go to the cafeteria in between classes to get lunch or grab some tea and the chef would see us coming and say, “here come Gorgeous and Gorgette.” We thought it was the funniest thing and the names stuck. We somehow agreed that I’m Gorgeous and she’s Gorgette. Good times! 

M: There was this gentleman that worked in the school cafeteria. He had a special liking to the two of us. Since we were ALWAYS together, he decided to name us Gorgeous and Gorgette. We got a lot of free food from him (shhh, don’t tell anyone).

3. What’s one quality about the other do you love the most?

E: Her calmness. I’ve been friends with Martha for over a decade and have never heard her raise her voice. Even when she’s upset, she’s graceful. Even when she’s stressed, she’s composed. That’s most certainly something I admire about her and hope to emulate. 

M: This is hard because there are so many things that I love about her but if I had to pick one, I’d say her integrity. A lot of people lack integrity, but she will stand by her values no matter the consequences.

4. What’s one thing about her that people would find odd?

E: The fact that she doesn’t really care for food. If Martha has her tea, she’s fine. I’m the foodie. She just eats simply to survive. 

M: I’ll name two – she remembers the most random information. When I got a new car, I couldn’t remember my license plate for the longest, but she knew it! She will remember random people’s birthdays, etc. The second one is this – she loves ices. She can eat them all day long; it makes no sense.

5. Do you wear each other’s clothes?

E: Martha is the only one of my friends who could actually fit my clothes but because we have the same taste in fashion and shop at the same stores, we tend to buy a lot of the same things. We certainly borrow each other’s stuff here and there. We should probably do a post or video on how we style our similar items in different ways. 

M: All the time. We are the only ones that can fit each other’s clothes. Thank the Lord! The only thing he denied us was the same shoe size.

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6. Is there one fashion trend that has been your favorite this year?

E: The muscle tee shirts. I’m absolutely obsessed with the concept of having shoulder pads in my T-shirts. They elevate a basic tee so effortlessly. I want them in every color, and I can’t wait to get a long-sleeved version for the colder months. 

M: Most definitely. I can’t seem to get enough of puff sleeves. If you look at most of my clothes this year, they have had a bit of puff in the sleeves.

7. How do you balance work and home life during quarantine?

E: Whew! What is balance? It seems like an impossible concept. In all honesty, it’s been quite difficult. Unlike most people, I don’t enjoy working from home. I feel trapped in my own house and it’s just the worst feeling. I have started to work at the office three days a week now and I never thought I’d be so excited to go to work. 

To maintain my sanity, I’ve realized that I have to stick to a schedule like I do when I’m in the office, but I haven’t mastered that yet. I don’t take breaks which is terrible, but I’ve been making sure to work out almost daily to ensure I’m staying active since I don’t move much when seated at my desk. I also try to have movie nights at home or dinner at the table with everyone so that I don’t neglect my family. And somehow in the midst of all that, I try to squeeze in some blogging work. 

So, there isn’t much balance; I simply prioritize and do the urgent first then tackle the important. What doesn’t get done today will be handled tomorrow. I actually don’t know how Martha does it with twins. She’s a superwoman.

M: I try to set a schedule for everything. It’s difficult especially with young kids. I try to schedule most of my work calls around the time that the girls are taking a nap, especially if I’m leading the call. When you are working from home, you tend to do more work than when you are in the office. I’m very intentional about taking a break and just checking out.

8. What was one pivotal moment in your friendship? 

E: I think the day Martha called me and asked me to be the godmother of not one, but both of her children was the day I realized just how much she holds our friendship with high regards… Because I was the maid of honor at her wedding, that was truly the last thing in my mind. To be trusted with the life of her children has been the greatest honor. 

M: We have literally been through everything together, it’s really hard to pick one but I’ll go with a funny story. We were doing a fashion show one time with WM Hope Foundation and there were these two models (a guy and a girl) that were busy talking crap about everyone in Creole. What they didn’t know was that Edwina understood everything they were saying. Well, at some point, I was sitting with my husband (they didn’t know he was my husband and thought he was just some guy I was messing around with) and they started talking crap about us. She just lost it! We just heard her yelling at them at Creole and finished off with, ‘Oh and for your information, that is not just someone she’s messing with, that’s her husband!’ and then she stormed off! They were so shocked, it was hilarious. I wanted to laugh so bad. Since then, I knew she will fight you if you talk crap about me.

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9. What are some of your favorite memories together? 

E: Oh man, there are so many. I always tell the story of how I had to defend her honor when somebody, not knowing that I was Haitian, decided to speak ill of her in front of me in Haitian creole. I could not control myself and had to put them in their place. Unlike Martha, I can totally raise my voice when I’m upset and did just that on that day, but she didn’t understand a word of it since it was in my native language. Lol 

But there are so many more pleasant moments I cherish. 

• Our college days were so fun!
• Vacationing in the Virgin Islands together was amazing. 
• Watching her walk down the aisle was breathtaking. 
• Being in the hospital with her before and after giving birth was humbling, nerve wrecking and inspiring.  
• We even work together and that’s a blessing. 

M: There are so many, where do I event start? I’d say riding the subways together to and from school! If you are looking for endless entertainment, get on the NYC subway. We came across so many hilarious people, like the guy that said he used to go to school at the back of the library. We had the best times together in college; it would not have been the same without her.

I’d also say planning every single part of my wedding with her. Kevin should be thanking her because she saved him from going to every single appointment that he didn’t want to go to. 

10. What’s the biggest friendship lesson you’ve learned from each other? 

E: That vulnerability leads to meaningful friendships. In the early stages of our friendship, I couldn’t believe how open Martha was with me. She didn’t just tell me the stories where she was the hero but her shortcomings and flaws, she also shared. Through those vulnerable conversations, I realized how we were building trust with each other and understood that I never needed to put up a front of fake perfection in her presence. Our friendship is authentic and that’s always beautiful. 

M: I’ve learnt that true sisterhood really does exist. God can bring someone in your life that can be closer than a sister, to do this thing called life together. It is such a blessing to have someone that has the same values as you, but most importantly, can stand in the gap and pray for you during the most difficult times. I know that I can trust Edwina with my life.

Thank you guys so much for stopping by! This was a fun post to write and shoot. Special thanks goes to my cousin Danael who photographed us. She promised to have a fit if we didn’t give her photo credit. Haha! Lastly, check out Martha’s post here.

Until next time,